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(***trigger warning: references to sexual violence)

*

she envies spider webs their transparency, forever moist.  their embrace of gaps, corners and the forgotten, held within a network of countless delicate fingers.  strong enough to hold those that spun them, immune to their paralyzing poisons.  she covets that kind of love.

she longs for this love, and to be seen and not noticed.

for being noticed means being cornered.  it means pollination: endless acrid spray from daddy’s long legs.  burning.  burning, and bile dancing between heart and throat.  long after his love dries and flakes from a silk-worn phallus, lacerating wisps leave her weak.  their remembered membranes cling spurned space.

to survive, she must resist.

so she tucks Self between atoms and inverted space.  she holds herself impermeable, disengaged from preying eyes, legs and tongues.  she travels without disturbing; her stillness would seem to make each breath a betrayal.  this is her protest.  in these interminable hours, she is virgin nymph, laying in wait near the sea floor.  waiting to surface, waiting to return to air.

otherwise, she dreams of then: when she will leave larval skin, forgive her fractures, breathe and become.  she, a bright dragonfly with translucent wings…

moving toward her own existence.

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