*You sho’ is ugly*
shug says to celie
first, she gathers her close
leaps swiftly into her eyes
– intimate as a kiss –
then, mere centimeters away,
cackles up her venom
callous words sting,
dear speaker,
they claw
lacerate
puncture fragility
and You are responsible
for the scars
*You sho’ is…*
post-coital, we lay on her bed
my vampire lover and me
she, the first to taste all of me, says
“turn over”
naked, i comply
curious aroused patient
as she takes in
all of me
then she whispers
“you have an elephant butt”
her revulsion courses my spine
scorches my ears
& melts my eyes
*You sho’…*
born with a lazy eye, i crawl thru fog
with eye patch over industrious eye
until thick, coke-bottle glasses
rescue and curse me
popping distorted orbs,
they invite plenty to laugh
but no one to kiss me
one day, i ask mama if i am beautiful
curious hopeful eager
as she continued to iron
without meeting my eyes
she, herself a crushed flower, replies
“you’re average”
*You…*
metal in my mouth from 14 to 16
bands and brackets snag food
& rip the soft, wet insides of my lips purple
their flesh throb echoes to my blues
she, a loyal companion the best friend
this bastard baby could have
my companion accompanies me
during forced exercises, weigh-in after weigh-in
& marathon mocking sessions
where dreaded-daddy ogles my ugly
raging disgust at my gelatinous armor
that will soon again bank
rainbowed blood
*…*
i seem to attract bees
who rob me of nectar
and sting
and sting
while lodging barbs
their coarse pricks pierce fragile lens
making me beauty-blind eyeless to the grace
of a sista’s soft earthen curves
& a fat gurl’s blossomed abundance
does a fragrant wildflower live in me as well?
damn darts have parsed mirrors from my sight
lacerating self acceptance to unseeing slits
unable to hold loving likenesses
*
yet
*
shug became grateful to finally love celie
as i became grateful
to finally love me
vampire lover offered amends years ago
self-hate addled with coke spawned her spew
mama-beloved said
she didn’t want me to get a big head
an island gyal, she was raised stoic to survive
‘n daddy-monster? well,
he departed over 25 years ago now
leaving me only my loyal companion
but it’s time i said goodbye to my blues
otherwise she’ll kill me
*
*
~ blkcowrie (with gratitude to Alice Walker)
http://blkcowrie.wordpress.com
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